Things have been a little turbulent in our household lately. You might have noticed I took a little break from blogging during a super stressful departure from my previous job, unemployment and the beginning of a new job. Oh! And M got a second full time job.
What this means for me, a level I find myself caring about a lot (more than I thought), is that our housework duties have shifted. Dramatically.
Before this transition, I did about 50% of the housework and M did the other half. Namely, I did the grocery shopping & farmer’s market-ing, the lion’s share of the cooking, the dusting, sweeping and vacuuming. M did the laundry, folded and ironed clothes, took out the garbage/recycling, and cleaned the kitchen and bathroom.
Now that we are both working a lot more, there is a lot less time to do anything together-and the last thing we want to do is clean the house! As I’m the one who is home more often, so I found myself (gasp!) folding clothes or scrubbing a stove.
It’s not that the act of folding my tanks and his work shirts, or scrubbing a stove I made dirty that are a problem. I was raised by a woman who knows how to clean and I’ve been taught those skills. Sometimes I even find peace in a perfectly mopped floor.
But – I staked such a large part of how I viewed my relationship on our intentional chore equity. It meant so much to me that we had such a modern view on housework, especially in light of some of the more traditional choices I’ve found myself making. And I have caught myself worrying about falling down a rabbit hole, where I pick up more and more of the housework and becoming the Bitch in the House. What does it mean to my relationship if I take on a more traditional gender role? How does it change who I am? Does it all?
I think it does. I think it shows that we try to view our relationship as a whole, and that chores are just one piece of that puzzle.
How do you split housework? What works for you?