I can’t believe one little tweet has me in such a tizzy. One of the editors over at A Practical Wedding, a wedding site that I normally adore, said something to the effect that ‘women need to stop telling other women that they are too picky. you’re not picky.’ I don’t want to actually find (and then publish) the exact tweet. This isn’t about her and me but I do want to explore the idea that women can have EVERYTHING THEY EVER WANTED EVER.
I don’t think that you can have everything you want in a partner. People, especially women, can be too picky. The messages from when we were kids include; you are a princess, you get whatever you want, no one will tell you no, you are a pretty, pretty princess. That just isn’t true folks. We fart, we make mistakes, we tell inappropriate jokes, we lie to ourselves, our partners. Not one single person I have ever met is perfect – and it is those imperfections that give life character.
You can’t set an income threshold, height, age, looks, interests, religion, familial limits on a spouse. It would just be easier to go to the Ken doll factory and build it yourself. What if the person who moves your soul makes less than the 60k a year salary you want? What if the person who gets that naughty humor of yours is 6 inches shorter than you? Does that mean you can’t love them? Please.
I am not trying to say that people should give up on a list of requirements for a sane, healthy relationship that are, in fact, sane and healthy. Like being supportive, like understanding your differences, like generally having the same life goals. Nor I am trying to say that love conquers all – it does not do that either. Sometimes people do ugly ugly things to one another, but sometimes we prevent ourselves from having something wonderful because of a laundry list of expectations.